Asking a woman to breastfeed a baby in a room which is effectively a toilet does more than disgust me. It angers me.
This week though, that’s what was effectively asked of me. Three times. Needless to say, I fed my daughter elsewhere.
I was at motorway service stations. We stopped at three of these on the way to and from our holiday in Cornwall. At each of them, Jasmin – who is six months old – needed feeding. At each of them, I checked out the parents’ room set up for feeding and changing babies, and walked away in disgust.
The rooms all, without exception, stank of faeces. I accept that this is because they are designed for parents to change their children’s dirty nappies in. But why can’t adequate bins be provided – for example, some which close properly?
But what really angered me about each of these parents’ rooms was the little plastic chair directly in front of the change stations. These were parent changing and feeding rooms. Parents were expected to feed their children in them.
I cannot fathom how anyone thinks it is acceptable to expect a parent to feed their child in a room which reeks of faeces while watching a stranger clean another child’s dirty bum.
At each of these services stations I chose to breastfeed my child not in a windowless room which stank of poo, but in the central cafe area where we sat as a family and took a break from our journey. No-one minded in the slightest, although we did feel (perhaps a self-imposed) pressure to buy something from the cafe in which we sat.
My gripe here is not about breastfeeding, or about breastfeeding mothers needing somewhere different to feed than those giving their children a bottle. It doesn’t matter if you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding – you shouldn’t be expected to feed your child in the toilets. As a breastfeeding mother, I appreciate being given a little quiet space in which to feed my baby. I can’t imagine this would be any different were I feeding Jasmin a bottle.
It seems to me that in the rather large motorway services stations we stopped at, catering for the needs of babies is an afterthought. There are a myriad of options for hungry adults. Cornish pasty? High-end supermarket food to go? Greasy fare from a fast food chain? Less than mediocre coffee from a generic coffee company? The choices are there and they are many. For shoppers, there are magazine shops, cushions to buy, gifts to indulge yourself or others with, and knick knacks for tourists passing through. For gamblers, there are darkened rooms where they can spend their break putting coins in a machine, dreaming of riches. But for parents who need to feed there children there is little more than a dirty plastic chair placed in front of a change mat as an afterthought.
It’s not good enough.
Women who have children to feed get in the car and go places too. They stop at motorway services just like other people. And they have a right to feed their babies in a clean, comfortable and hygienic environment. A baby change room is effectively a public toilet. Asking a woman to feed her baby here is disrespectful of both the mother and the baby.
If we can fit seventeen different food outlets and two slot machine rooms into a motorway service station, surely we can also fit in a small feeding room which is separate from a toilet and provides a woman a little peace and privacy while she nourishes her child? This isn’t about separate restaurants for families or separate toddler feeding areas. It’s about meeting the needs of babies.
I am not arguing for special treatment for women who are breastfeeding infants. Instead, I am asking for babies and infants to be awarded a little respect. Their basic human needs deserve to be met with far more dignity than the current situation affords them.
I know many services offer a microwave in an area (in the central foyer) where infant food and bottles can be heated. Why not go a little further? Why not provide a comfortable chair, in a clean room, away from the crowds and the noise? Babies and infants deserve respect. So do the mothers who feed them.
